I’m a dad. I give advice. It’s what I do.
You can’t fight nature. When it’s time to go, you go. When it’s time to advice, you advice.
So, it’s natural, really the divine order of things, that when my kids went off to college, I gave them advice. I was just doing my job.
I told them just two things.
#1: Don’t sweat the major.
Yes, if you want to build bridges, it’s best that you major in Structural Engineering. For all of us.
Most of the time, it’s just not that critical. Jobs change. Workplace needs evolve. New jobs are created.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, most people go through 7 major career changes. Not different jobs - different careers. A teacher becomes an insurance salesman. A VP of marketing transitions to a non profit controller. Whitman was right. We contain multitudes.
Study this: something you love. Learn about something that interests you. If you don’t know what you love, study until you do. Then, explore some more.
Unless you’re a Kardashian, you don’t pick a spouse based on net worth. You don’t pick a major based on ROI. It’s short sighted.
Does a major inspire you? Are you curious? Do you want to learn? If the answer is yes, that’s a good start.
Graduating from college is not the end of education. You’re just getting warmed up.
#2: Go out for the school play.
Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Act. Sing. Debate. Play Rugby.
Comfort is the enemy. Just do something new.
Learn the fundamentals. Struggle. Adjust. Practice your craft. Help others. Repeat.
It’s what you will do for the rest of your life. Start now.
I can’t say this enough. Put yourself out there.
Surprisingly, my kids took my advice. Who knew they were listening?
My daughter is a dance and english major. She taps. She writes comedy. She is a Funk Dj for the college radio station. Tap shows are not selling out stadiums. They don’t sell out the Moose Lodge. There was only one Nora Ephron. Tina Fey is a limited job market. So is Mindy Kaling. I'm guessing the Funk DJ job market is limited. I don’t care.
You go girl. Play that funky music white girl. Play that music funky music right. Play that music till you die.
My son wants to open a restaurant. He’s a Marketing major. He cooks. Most restaurants fail in the first year.
You go boy. Cook that funky food right. Do what you love till you die.
After I dumped the last Ikea instructions, after both kids were gone, it hit me. I wasn’t listening to my own advice.
I wasn’t living you go dad. I wasn’t playing that funky music. The record player wasn’t even plugged in. It was buried in the garage, next to the guitar.
I wasn’t growing. If anything, I was shrinking. Do something to pay the bills. Get by. I was a routine.
It was time to learn from my kids. It was time to listen to my own advice.
I was asked to be in my daughter’s ballet recital. “Dad, can you be Dr. Coppelia. It will be so much fun.” “What’s Coppelia? I’m in.” I did say no to the tights and the tutu. Step 1 on the road of putting myself out there.
I became a high school basketball referee. Then volleyball. Football. Lacrosse. Except for the tights and tutu, I kept saying yes. Grow. Stretch. Be uncomfortable.
This is the thing. Our kids grow up. Going off to college is an adventure. It’s time for them to put themselves out there. Try something new. Get uncomfortable. Stretch. Grow.
As parents of these students, it’s our time too. We just need a reminder.
It’s time to put ourselves out there. Try something new. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Grow. Stretch.
You go dad. You go mom. Play that funky music. Play it loud.
After all, we’re just getting warmed up.
