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Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker

Posted by Christine Sarikas | Feb 5, 2021 12:00:00 PM

General Education

 

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Looking into Enneagrams and want to know more about Enneagram Type 9? We're here to help! Read on to learn all about what Type 9s are known for, what they care about (and fear most), how to tell if you're a Type 9, the best Enneagram Type 9 careers, and how this type acts with friends, family, and when they're in love.

 

What Is Enneagram Type 9?

Enneagram types are an increasingly popular way to classify personalities. There are nine different types, each of which has different values, goals, fears, and ways of relating to other people and the world in general. Most people take an online quiz to determine their type, and knowing your Enneagram can help you understand more about yourself as well as what you can do to become a better friend, family member, partner, and employee.

Enneagram 9 is often called the "peacemaker" or "mediator." They're known for being agreeable, comforting, creative, and optimistic. This Enneagram type values stability and harmony in all things and will go to great lengths to avoid or solve conflicts. Type 9s can get along with all types of people and have a very calm and stabilizing presence, but their fear of conflict can sometimes cause them to be complacent and risk-averse.

Famous Enneagram 9s include Claude Monet, Abraham Lincoln, Queen Elizabeth II, Colin Powell, and Audrey Hepburn.

 

You're Probably Enneagram 9 If…

Not sure if you're an Enneagram 9? There are lots of quizzes you can take online, but if you're just looking for a quick assessment, we've got one for you. Below are 13 statements that are true of many Type 9s. Read through each of them and, if you feel that eight or more of the statements describe you well, then you're likely a Type 9.

#1: It can often be difficult for you to know what you really want.

#2: You'll go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

#3: You often struggle to make big changes in your life, even if you know they're necessary.

#4: You'd rather stay in a situation that is pretty good than risk losing it all by trying for something better.

#5: You tend to be the person people go to in order to resolve arguments.

#6: Change and uncertainty, even in small amounts, can make you very stressed and anxious.

#7: You're known for being extremely fair to all sides.

#8: You're a highly spiritual person.

#9: You regularly daydream.

#10: Often you'll agree to things you don't want to do in order to avoid conflict.

#11: You sometimes ignore problems in the hope they'll disappear on their own.

#12: You're generally pretty content with your life.

#13: It's rare that you lose control of your emotions.

 

What You Need to Know About Enneagram Type 9

Type 9s are all about peace. They want peace with themselves, peace with others, and peace for the world. Within themselves, Enneagram 9s strive to be in touch with their innermost emotions and energies. They're often highly spiritual and drawn to interests such as astrology and tarot cards. Type 9s want to know themselves on the deepest level as they believe that is the only way to truly be content in the world.

Other people tend to see Enneagram 9s as calm and compassionate presences. They have the ability to listen to all sides of an argument without judgement, and they can bridge all sorts of divisions. Type 9s believe that peace and cooperation are more important than any short-term squabble or disagreement, and their thoughtful, reassuring manner of explaining this often wins others over to their cause. 9s continuously draw people into the fold so that they feel valued and liked. While not the loudest person in a group or the one who takes charge, Enneagram 9s are often the glue that holds friends and families together.

The effort of maintaining all this harmony can take a toll on Type 9s, however. Their desire to make others happy means that Enneagram 9s often overlook their own needs. This can lead to them feeling used and unappreciated. Additionally, because they have such a strong aversion to conflict, Type 9s often don't speak up when there is a problem. Instead, they'll allow the issue to simmer and hope it goes away on its own if they don't think about it. This aversion to discomfort can also cause problems in other areas of their lives. Type 9s dislike change and uncertainty, so they often avoid making needed changes and instead remain in less-than-ideal situations, only leaving when they become truly untenable. When Type 9s push past their natural tendencies of conflict avoidance, however; they can lead very content and fulfilling lives.

 

Biggest goals: Stability, inner peace, for the people they care about to be happy

Biggest fears: Conflict, hurt feelings, uncertainty

 

Personality strengths: Fairness, compassion, emotional stability

Personality weaknesses: Complacency, procrastination, disengagement

 

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Enneagram 9s in Romantic Relationships

Dating can really be a struggle for Type 9s. First, it can be hard for them to get a partner. Type 9s tend to be wallflowers, and potential romantic prospects may be drawn to flashier, more gregarious types initially. However, once people get to know Type 9s, they're attracted to their calm, caring personalities. The real problems for Type 9s start once the relationship begins. 

In their attempt to be as agreeable and accommodating as possible, 9s often go along with whatever their partner wants. They're the type of people who suddenly take up all their new girlfriend's or boyfriend's hobbies, pushing their own interests to the side. They want so strongly for their partner to be happy that they'll make themselves incredibly unhappy trying to meet all their beloved's wants and needs. This can be both overwhelming for their partner and exhausting for Type 9s. 9s often burn themselves out in relationships or become resentful when they feel their partner isn't putting in the same effort that they are. What's particularly sad about this is that, in most cases, the people dating Type 9s don't ask for or want this level of agreeableness and would be much happier if Type 9s spoke their true opinion more. In most cases, their partner hasn't realized how much the Type 9 has given up because the 9 hasn't spoken about it, so there's no way to solve the problem.

Additionally, because Type 9s fear both conflict and change, they can end up staying in an unfulfilling, or even unhealthy, relationship for far longer than they should. Type 9s will often ignore the problems in their relationship, hoping they'll eventually fade away without their intervention. It can be very painful for people close to Type 9s to watch as they continue to stay in a relationship that provides them so little happiness. Fortunately, however, most Type 9s will eventually realize they deserve better and make the break, although it will take time.

If Type 9s can overcome their natural avoidant tendencies and voice their opinions more, they can find happiness with a partner. Their focus on fairness and stability means they can thrive in long-term relationships. Enneagram 9s with a healthy sense of self will be able to solve disagreements without fights and balance their needs with those of their partner. When they find the right person willing to encourage them to assert themselves, Type 9s often find long-lasting domestic bliss.

 

Enneagram 9s With Family and Friends

Type 9s often have large circles of friends. And why shouldn't they? They're kind, excellent listeners, and will always let you choose where to get brunch. In both their families and friend groups, 9s are the people who know all the secrets because others trust them to listen without judgement and not tell anyone else. They also often act as mediators, sorting out conflicts and hurt feelings. Type 9s' friends and family members see them as easy going, compassionate, and steady influences, and they're deeply valued members of whatever group they're part of.

However, it can sometimes be difficult to get close to Type 9s, and it's common for them to have many acquaintances but no best friend. This is because Type 9s, in their desire to please everyone, can have a hard time really opening up and being honest with others. They won't tell malicious falsehoods, but they'll often agree to things they're not interested in just to keep the group harmonious. As a result, it can be tough to know what Type 9s really want and what makes them click. It can also cause 9s to feel lonely because, even though they're often surrounded by others, they're reluctant to show their true selves.

 

Enneagram 9s at the Workplace 

While it's perfectly possible for Type 9s to go on to have high-flying careers (Presidents Lincoln, Ford, Eisenhower, and Reagan, as well as Ringo Starr, Zooey Deschanel, and Janet Jackson are all type 9s), it's often not where they're most comfortable. Unlike some of the more ambitious types, like Enneagram 1 or 3, Enneagram 9s don't have relentless ambition or a need to constantly prove themselves. They'd rather have a career that is stable and fulfilling over one that brings them a lot of money and power at the expense of their well-being. As such, Type 9s can sometimes fly under the radar at work, despite their talents.

A major reason Type 9s don't often pursue leadership positions is because they hate being the one calling the shots. Type 9s fear making a decision that'll make others unhappy, and oftentimes it's a struggle for them to even know what they want since they're so used to agreeing to the suggestions of others. A job where they need to constantly be making important decisions is very draining for many Type 9s. When given directions to follow, however; Type 9s will be very thoughtful about their work and infuse it with their own creative touch. It's not that Type 9s follow orders mindlessly; they just prefer that someone makes the big decisions so they can add their own small individual touches at the end.

Type 9s are often very popular in the workplace. They're calm, agreeable, and thoughtful of everyone's feelings. They often are the coworkers people go to in order to vent about their problems or ask for advice. Bosses like Type 9s' steady enthusiasm and positive attitude, even if they sometimes wish they took more initiative at work. A Type 9 may not be interested in winning an employee of the year award, but they'd be firm favorites for any office popularity contest.

Type 9s do best in careers that aren't hectic and don't require them to make a lot of decisions. They thrive at jobs that have a routine but also allow for touches of creativity. Anything that helps people come together also plays to Type 9s' natural strengths. The best Enneagram Type 9 careers include:

  • Social worker
  • Librarian
  • Musician
  • Accountant
  • Optometrist
  • Yoga instructor

 

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Enneagram Type 9 Wings

Each Enneagram type has two adjacent wings, one of which is more dominant than the other in each Type 9 person. When you take your Enneagram test, you'll learn which wing is dominant for you. Although they don't have as large an impact as your actual Enneagram type, wings still affect your personality and behavior. The two Enneagram Type 9 wings are Enneagram 9 Wing 8 (9w8) and Enneagram 9 Wing 1 (9w1). Knowing your wing will add more depth and clarity to your enneagram description.

 

Enneagram 9 Wing 8

Type 8s are known as "challengers," and among all the Enneagram types, they're the most self-confident and dominating. While those traits can often make Type 8s seem overly aggressive, they actually complement Type 9s traits very well, giving Enneagram 9 Wing 8s the best of both worlds. The Type 8 confidence counter-balances the Type 9 need to please everyone, so you end up with a person who knows what they want but is still thoughtful of other people.

However, if the 9w8 doesn't have enough confidence to express their wants and opinions, that can cause problems. You can sometimes end up with someone who has very strong opinions on what they want to do and how they think things should be done, but they aren't assertive enough to speak up. So they'll go along with other plans, growing ever more resentful. The key for Enneagram 9 Wing 8s is to keep their 8 and 9 personality traits evenly balanced. If they do that, they're often highly content.

 

Enneagram 9 Wing 1

Type 1 is known as the "reformer," and they're known for being especially ethical, organized, and perfectionist. Both Type 9s and Type 1s value self control, so 9w1s have deep control over their emotions. Type 9s can also sometimes come across as scatter-brained, so the organization of Type 1s can balance that out in Enneagram 9 Wing 1s. 9w1s are generally cool, calm, and collected, and it's hard to ruffle their feathers or throw them off track.

However, there are areas where Type 9 and Type 1 traits clash. Type 1s are very detail-oriented and often want things done in a very specific way. If their Type 9 trait of not speaking up is too strong, they often don't say anything when people decide to do something a different way, and then they end up resentful and frustrated when things go wrong. It's important for 9w1s to speak up when they feel strongly about something to avoid simmering feelings of anger down the line.

 

What's Next?

Interested in other Enneagram Types? Read our guides on Enneagram Type 1s and Type 4s, and stay tuned for more articles!

Want more advice on which career path you should follow? Take our career quiz to learn which jobs you'll be happiest and most successful at!

Want to keep learning new things? We've compiled 113 of the most fascinating fun facts. We bet something on the list will amaze you!

 

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Christine Sarikas
About the Author

Christine graduated from Michigan State University with degrees in Environmental Biology and Geography and received her Master's from Duke University. In high school she scored in the 99th percentile on the SAT and was named a National Merit Finalist. She has taught English and biology in several countries.



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